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babble... about him leaving..

 Hey Journal, its been a long time.. i haven't really had anything to say except.. it had been great this past 7 months... why? because my love life finally happened.. and yes, it has been 7 months and counting.. i wrote to you because right now, im feeling really lousy because i thought i'm ready for him to leave, i know i've already told myself loads of times that he's gonna go this year, we're not gonna be seeing each other for a long time, and were not gonna be able to communicate all the time anymore. but its still SUCKS! i can't tell him to stay here with me because he's family is there and his future.. and i can't be selfish because i know that he has his whole life ahead of him there.. when our relationship started, i always knew that he was gonna go.. when he left before.. i cried for a week.. literally and then he came back after that week... that was the slowest week of my life.. look at me im babbling on and on about him already when i just wanna say what im feeling but i still cant express it properly... im crying but im happy for him, i wanna let him stay but i cant.. i told him that we're gonna try having a long distance relationship, but how would that ever work? i know we could try making it work and its worth the shot, but i know that im really gonna miss him so much.. i don't know what to think anymore and i don't know how things are gonna go when he's gone but i just wanna spend time with him when i can, and maybe just enjoy every minute, every second that were together.. and maybe i just have to face the fact that he's gonna go... worst part is, he's not gonna be here anymore when we have our 8th monthsary... sucks right? 



jaz, jazlene, me

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November 2010